Hey sorry I'm late. Are you there?I hear the phone in there. You a fucking cock tease?Don't ever swipe me again, you cocksucking faggot!I'm not a faggot cocksucker. I said aloud, as tears trailed down mycheeks.I'm a woman. A straight woman who doesn't quite look like one, who usedto put on lipstick and his mother's bikini top while fellating bananasbefore graduating to silky bras, garter belts and hose, and long dildosattached to mirrors, the better to watch myself watch the imaginary manin my head whose cock I was so eagerly and passionately sucking.Be myself, Jamie had said. OK but how? I cursed God for taking her awayfrom me, and I went to bed, softly crying into the pillow. I feltalone, and even with the furnace going full blast, I felt very, verycold.January 7 2018Today, I discovered sinthetics.com, and with it, a new plan.It's amazing what you can find, along with malware, when you click on"things you might enjoy". In this case I didn't start withsinthetics.com. It. I brushed my teeth and hair, put on my nightie, and took the flowers back into 'our room.' I found a lighter in the table on John's side of the bed, and I lit the candles and turned off the lamp. Then I turned down the bed and got in between the nice cool, clean sheets. With the candles and the dim light coming around the verticals, the light was just right to be romantic. The rain was drumming on the roof, and I felt nice and cozy. I had just laid back, enjoying my flowers and relaxing, when I heard John come into the house from the garage. Perfect timing. I heard him call my name, but I decided to just lie there and let him find me. I had the covers only up to my waist, because I wanted him to find me in his bed like that, wearing my nightie, the pink of my nipples showing through a little. I knew that would please John, because he had told me many times how much he liked my puffy, pink nipples. He would know I didn't have another stitch on, and exactly what I wanted, too.John came.
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